when did your heart go missing?

why is it that girls look to magazines to see what they need to look like, what they need to wear, how they need to act? what possible pleasure can be brought from that? i was looking at one today, i can't even remember which one it was called, but it made me feel horrible about myself. it didn't make me want to buy anything they were selling, it just made me want to cry. i am so easy to get jealous of other people. not what they have, but how they look. i mean i never want to be one of those people that spends like 3 hours getting ready or anything, and i don't want to wear make-up...so then why do i get jealous? they don't naturally look the way they do.. they spend time looking that way. hardly anyone is that naturally beautiful. i just wish i were. you're your own worst enemy that is for dang sure. there are maybe 5-10 times a year when i'm like oh hey i'm pretty today. most days i look in the mirror and just want to cry. why am i so hard on myself? because i compare myself to all these fictitious people! and i HATE it! i will rise about it, though. i will not let hollywood get a hold of me. but you know what, they say that beauty is on the inside. for the most part i think i am beautiful on the inside, i just wish my outside matched!! ok that's enough ranting about that. tomorrow i'll probably wake up and think i am being totally over dramatic right now, which i probably am.
the end.