be happy with what you've been given? yeah right.

<~~ This person. Right here. I am SO jealous of her. And not a jealousy that could be considered good. Sometimes I wish I were her. I am certain she hasn't had the best life ever, but I envy her in a lot of ways. I know I shouldn't. I should take what I envy about her and apply it to my life. She is seriously the most beautiful girl I have ever met in my life (wish I looked like her). She has a style that I absolutely love (wish I dressed like her). She had the courage to get up and move to California not knowing anyone out there (wish I had her courage). She has small boobs and doesn't let it affect her at all! (wish I were as confident in myself as she is). She loves and is not scared to (wish I were as brave in love as she is).
Honestly, I don't know her too well, but she shows me so much in just the little that I know about her and talk to her. There are few people in this world that I look at and get sad because I don't look like them haha I know that sounds weird. So far there has only ever been two. This girl and Jessica Pike. The funny thing is I don't get jealous of celebrities and girls in magazines because I know that it's all fake fake fake, but every time I see pictures of these girls I get so sad and jealous. I get really down on myself. I mean it's not like they can help being so beautiful and perfect, ya know? I dunno. Guess I'm just having one of those days. I feel somewhat pretty since I went tanning today, but I WANT TO LOOK LIKE ABBY! Haha. Dang. Oh well. I need to learn to be happy with what I've got. Maybe learn how to wear eyeliner, too. Nah that will probably never happen. I do feel like dressing up tomorrow, so I hope tomorrow is a pretty day!!